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Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Whaur’s The Bus?


Whaur ye aff tae?            I’m aff up the toon
Whit ur ye daein?            Ah, just walkin aroon
Look, err’s auld Jonny      Fae up yir street?
Whaur‘s he gaun?           He’s naebdy tae meet
He’ll be seeing wee Isa    Fae up the end close?
Aye, ye ken the wan       Wi’ the bustit nose?
Dirty auld bugger            Sneeky wee toerag
Bin winching fir ages       The doddery bawbag

Did ye see yon muppet      The wan on the telly?
Gaun oot wi a minger         Aye, yon ginger Nelly
Yon wan fae the bank        Naw, ya daft scunner
Fae above he boozer         Her maw dun a runner
Went aff wi yon blackie?    Naw, yon erse fae the mill
That pal o’ oor Wullie’s      Aye, he’s merrit tae Jill
Ther dochter’s a stoater     Richt feisty wee bint
Mind she beltit big Ally      Gaud, it wis mint

He’rd aboot Jeanie             Whit’s she dun noo
Twa timing her auld man    The minging wee coo
Mair needles in her like      Aye, so ah’ve he’rd
Erms like a dartboard        Bet the new mans a ned
Runs wi wee Frankie         Err’s a boy an a hauf
Guid wi a blade ken           Sleekit wee nyaff
Goat ba’s on him that yin   He’ll get it wan day
Nowt mair sertin                Goat debtir’s to pay

Sae, how ur yir ain folk?     Jist muddlin awa
And the lad it the Uni ?       Shite’s huvin a ba
Mine’s is the same like      Thur nae in cless
Nae like it in ma day          Aw wirk in aw stress
Gled thit ah dun it              Aye, look at ye noo
Dun no bad yersell like       Sure beats the burroo
Yir no wrang ther man        Hoo’s the wee wummin?
Awa wi the fairies               Is the bus no cummin

Err the bus noo mon          Weel, ah’ll hae to be aff
See yi at kirk then             We'el hae a guid laff
Cheery bye faither             Sermin’s at ten mind
Ah’ll nae forget                  Yi’ll git left behind
Huv a guid day then           Ye quiet the day?
Nae sickies ur in yet          Whit dae ye say?
The surgeries deid man      Ya jammy auld sod
Docters paradise               Ah’ll stick tae mah Gaud

© Fergus Martin
2012