Setting off from his homeland in the hours before the
dawning of the day, he headed north to where the men of the black gold lived,
where he would take his first charge of the coming cycles of the moon. His
armada plundered the battlefield laying waste to those who sttod before them
and returned victorious. A short but glorious victory, but only the first
challenge our adventurer would face this day. Wrapping his fleece lined
clothing around him, he mounted his steed and returned to the Land of Blair and
began to sharpen the blades for his next challenge this day.
So, following a good kip, our fearful wanderer struck out
on the road again, off to the little town of Bo'ness, just outside Edinburgh,
where he would be chained to a chair from 0230am until such time as the minions
completed the task and all files were received by The Master of The Known
Crapiverse. Finally, he departed and
ventured to the home of she who bore him into this world, where he will break
bread, fall into bed, and arise in the early hours for another leg on his
fantasmagorical journey of the week. This time, to the seedy metropolis of
Glasgow.
Rested he rose, and ventured out in the grey early dawn
of the urban jungle and headed West, to the dirt strewn metropolis, halting his
trusty steed at the appointed place. His day began with a flourish and the gods
appeared to be with him, this would be a good day. Then....
The evil gremlins of the mechanised world conspired to
betray our fearless traveller and his companion, wrecking one sub-system after
another as the creaking World of Access crumbled. Ruined, this short delivery
became another day of fighting evil at every turn until that moment when he
could finally rest his head (in the car park at Stirling Services), before
finally ending his day in the Land of Blair
And now the night ahead looms with preparation and a
short sojurn to the Land of Nod before heading to the strange land of the Fife,
and then onwards once more.
He arose and his head ached, the world spun before him as
his respite was short. The great god Java would have to be at the top of his
game this night, dark and bitter as it was. And so he bowed before the steaming
receptacle twice, as was his way, and his thirst was quenched. His head
cleared.
And so begins another long night for our champion.
Taking to the highways from the Land of Blair, our
warrior of the night set eyes upon the many rotting corpses of the fallen
beasts on the track, whilst horned beasts stalked the woods. Winding his way to
the village of the Cupar in the land of the Fife, our hero and his faithful
companion Sue Baru steeled themselves for the battles of the night ahead. And
on this dark night, the gods showered them with great fortune and the fight was
quick and over without injury.
Breaking from his ritual, he sought out the red-headed
female of his family, and supped the juice of Java in her company, before once
more taking to the highways and byeways on his travels. Landing in the Kirk of
the Fall (Falkirk) he sought out his bed, and ventured forth unto the hostelry
where he dined on the staple diet of the men of Rome, before retiring to
recharge his dwindling energy resources for another nights battle with the
demons of Access.
Once more the gods of the chosen rained their fortune
upon him. Once more the battle was short and the victory won with style. And so
he ended his crusade and returned to the Land of Blair once more where the
Hounds from Hell welcomed him with razor teeth and howls of happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment