Roll Of The Dice

I sit and wonder daily

what would my life have been

without you?

Without your arms around me

holding me so close that it hurts,

squeezing the life out of my

pain racked body?

What would I have become

without you?

Would I have withered and died

like flowers in the autumn,

drifting away to nothingness

like a cloud dissolving in the sunlight?

What would have I been

without you?

Without your daily comfort,

without the companionship of a friend,

without the constant pushing to achieve

mortality?

What would my life have descended to

without you?

Would I have sailed upon

the oceans of liquid reality,

suffered at the point of a needle?

Where would I have ended up

without you?

Buried in rags on the corner

sleeping in the headlines of the day

bereft of humanity,

devoid of soul,

lost and alone in the wilderness of ruin?

If it were not for you,

I would have fallen.

If you were not there to catch me,

I would have drowned.

If it were not for you

I would not be.

© Fergus Martin

April 2014