Whaur ye aff tae? I’m aff up the toon
Whit ur ye daein? Ah, just walkin aroon
Look, err’s auld Jonny Fae up yir street?
Whaur‘s he gaun? He’s naebdy tae meet
He’ll be seeing wee Isa Fae up the end close?
Aye, ye ken the wan Wi’ the bustit nose?
Dirty auld bugger Sneeky wee toerag
Bin winching fir ages The doddery bawbag
Did ye see yon muppet The wan on the telly?
Gaun oot wi a minger Aye, yon ginger Nelly
Yon wan fae the bank Naw, ya daft scunner
Fae above he boozer Her maw dun a runner
Went aff wi yon blackie? Naw, yon erse fae the mill
That pal o’ oor Wullie’s Aye, he’s merrit tae Jill
Ther dochter’s a stoater Richt feisty wee bint
Mind she beltit big Ally Gaud, it wis mint
He’rd aboot Jeanie Whit’s she dun noo
Twa timing her auld man The minging wee coo
Mair needles in her like Aye, so ah’ve he’rd
Erms like a dartboard Bet the new mans a ned
Runs wi wee Frankie Err’s a boy an a hauf
Guid wi a blade ken Sleekit wee nyaff
Goat ba’s on him that yin He’ll get it wan day
Nowt mair sertin Goat debtir’s to pay
Sae, how ur yir ain folk? Jist muddlin awa
And the lad it the Uni ? Shite’s huvin a ba
Mine’s is the same like Thur nae in cless
Nae like it in ma day Aw wirk in aw stress
Gled thit ah dun it Aye, look at ye noo
Dun no bad yersell like Sure beats the burroo
Yir no wrang ther man Hoo’s the wee wummin?
Awa wi the fairies Is the bus no cummin
Err the bus noo mon Weel, ah’ll hae to be aff
See yi at kirk then We'el hae a guid laff
Cheery bye faither Sermin’s at ten mind
Ah’ll nae forget Yi’ll git left behind
Huv a guid day then Ye quiet the day?
Nae sickies ur in yet Whit dae ye say?
The surgeries deid man Ya jammy auld sod
Docters paradise Ah’ll stick tae mah Gaud
© Fergus Martin
2012
Hope you could understand the accent April ;-)
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